Teens Thoughts on Sexting

How appropriate that I would log onto Yahoo this morning to see the headline:

Poll: 1 in 4 young people have been involved in sexting

Go ahead and read it for yourself. It’s scary.

For the life of me, I can’t figure out how to address the issue with teenagers. I’m still a young guy; newlywed who barely has my feet wet in ministry. But, it hasn’t seemed to be that big of a deal just to be honest – until now.

This is two articles this week that I’ve read concerning sexting.

In case you don’t know, sexting is when students send sexually explicit photos of themselves to someone else. I suppose that words could be sent too, but with today’s society and photo phones, just jump to the worst conclusion, because it is happening.

This article raises a lot of good points:

1. There is no guilt involved…sorta. “I just don’t see it as that big of a problem, personally” is what 16-year-old Sammy replied concerning the issue. Sammy admitted to sharing nude photos of himself with his girlfriendS.  Yes, that large “s” is on purpose.  That’s plural.  At the age of 16, Sammy has done it twice. Likewise, Thelma, a 25-year-old has shared her photos with love interests, too. She said…”It’s just when you’re talking to a guy who’s interested in you, and you might have a sexual relationship, so they just want to see you naked,” she said, adding that she never complied with those requests.  That language use is scary to me. “Just” is used so casually.  ”Oh, sexting…it’s just sending nude photos of yourself that you’ll probably regret someday!”
2. Why is there only “sorta” no guilt? Well, both interviewees asked that their last name not be used. This is pure speculation, but why? If it’s just “not a big deal” and “just sending nude photos to love interests” then why not proclaim who you are?
3. Guys claim it is hot when girls send photos of themselves. Girls call it “slutty…” and yet most do it anyways.
4. I don’t want to have children now.

There’s a lot to chew on in that article. I mean, just look at your teens, whether they’re in your youth group or live in your home because you’re one of those parent things. What ways do you have to control this and address the issue?

My Generation

This has been on my mind a bit lately, and I’d love to get some thoughts from those of you who read.

Weekly, I usually check out the headlines surrounding teenagers and young adults to really see what’s going on out there. And I’ll be honest, a lot of times it depresses me.

In this present decade of teenagers, let’s look at what they’re facing:

• Sexting. Teenagers sending nude, semi-nude, or very explicit language through text-messages in order to “flirt.” (Just read an article dealing with this where a girl did so, broke up with her boyfriend, the picture leaked to school, and she committed suicide.)
• Sexually Explicit Music. I mean, really…you don’t have to look much further than one post below this where I talk about Britney Spears’ song “3″ which talks about group sex. Add that onto pretty much any other mainstream song from artists of the like and you’ll understand what I mean.
• Failing Morals. The study found here essentially says that teenagers today think lying and cheating are the proper way to live ones life.
• Increased sexual activeness. My buddy David over at iPopculture.net just posted about this yesterday.  1 in 4 teenage girls supposedly has an STD. Need I say more?
• Apathy toward the church. Oh come on!  You know I talk about this frequently.  At least once a month I get on here and complain about apathy.

3

As a youth pastor, I try to stay on top of new culture junk.  I used to listen to the radio on my way to work, but since I only live about 50 yards from the church…that’s severely cut down.

But, thanks to a little handy research, I’ve been able to find Tuesday’s Trash!  I don’t want to start that as a new blog title at all, but as I read through these lyrics and listened to the song…it sickens me and scares me as a youth pastor.  Engage your students or your children about what they are listening to.

Anyways, the song is called “3″ by Britney Spears. Remember her? That innocent little 17 year old who just wanted to be hit?  I actually remember first hearing “Hit Me Baby One More Time” in my home, and my brother goes, “Yeah! She’s only seventeen!” I was like, “That’s awesome!  Teenagers are cool!”

And then she grew up. And there were the sexy, steamy videos, the kiss with Madonna, her going bald (What?), and many other crazy things. And now, she releases this song called “3″.  It’s not an ode to math or about the days of Jonah in the whale – no, it’s about sex of course.

Here’s the lyrics

So let’s look at some things that stand out.

Lost

Sometimes, you just feel lost in ministry.  Not lost in the sense that you don’t know where you’re going.  I mean, I know where I am going in my ministry.  I feel like I have a great future plan of discipleship and ministry. But, sometimes, I just feel lost.

Sometimes, it seems as though even though many of the pieces are put together in the puzzle, there’s that one little piece that can’t be found because when you were eleven, your brother and you got in a fight with them and accidently threw it behind the couch where it was lost forever.  By that, I mean, some days you just feel incomplete.

I know that no ministry is perfect, but some days, there are emptiness.  Some days there are pains.  Some days there is confusion.  Some days there is frustration.  This is all part of the ministry experience.

I have a unique personality.  I like to be in control.  Many people first meet me and don’t think of me as an extrovert, but once someone gets to know me…they wish I was an introvert. 

This is simply ramblings.  On a night I feel lost.  I’m greatly encouraged.  I’m not doubting my calling.  I’m not ready to jump ship.  I just feel lost.

But I know that when you’re lost…you always get found when you seek God.

Rejection

These thoughts have really been going on since last Wednesday night.  

In response to Christ’s command to give up everything to follow him (Luke 14:33) we find some interesting stories in the Bible.

The rich young ruler in Luke 18:18-23 – Christ asks him to essentially give up everything to follow Him. But, the young man walks away sad.

The three men who wanted to follow Christ in Luke 9:57-62 are seen as having priorities higher than Christ that they don’t want to give up.

I mean, these aspects have been hit on time and time again.  We know that Christ calls men to follow Him by giving up everything. But, unfortunately, to be fair, we have to admit that everything for us is hard. Americans especially suffer from “stuffitis”.  We love stuff.  We let everything else get in the way it seems.

But, looking at it logically – the four men mentioned from the passages above suffered from stuffitis too! No, it wasn’t internet, sports, television, etc, but it was just as much stuffitis as us!

Relationships and money are the two that really stick out to me.  Yeah – we don’t respond well to that. We like the tangible – not the spiritual.

But then, those verses aren’t really the ones that hit me.  I know I must give up everything.  What hit me is what verses are NOT there.  Let me explain:

If you look at the two stories of men who decided not to follow Christ, what you see in the end is a transition to another story.  It never paints the picture of Christ’s reaction.  I mean, how did Christ react besides just letting the men go?  How much did it pain Him to have someone say, “No, Jesus – I’ve got more important things.  I’ll get to you when I have time?”  I mean, no Christian in their right mind could ever imagine actually saying that to Jesus in their words – but words are empty a lot of times!  The actions are so loud.  So many people say that…including me.

The reason I ask is because teaching through Crazy Love the issue has come up with some of my students…but, I’ve seen that there are more important things.  No one has said, “No, I don’t want to follow Jesus…” But, I have had some tell me with words something along the lines of, “I know I can’t make a commitment to this or that, because I won’t follow through.” It broke my heart to hear those words. Not because I feel that I have failed as a teacher, but because I realize rejection of the most important relationship ever is happening in a way.  

So I looked for Christ’s reaction.  I was looking for the witty comeback to convict their hearts and start revival in the land…but there was silence.  We don’t really get the reaction because yes, Jesus let them go. But, somehow, I imagine that Jesus looked at them compassionately and painfully just said, “Okay…” Then He went on His way to love and lead others. I wonder if he looked back as He died on the cross and saw the faces of all of those who said, “No Jesus, not today!  I can’t follow you, I have too much stuff going on…” and winced at the thought of rejection?  I don’t know.  It’s all speculation.  I just know that if the call of Christ is to give up everything, and someone chooses to only give up some things, then they’ve disobeyed.

It’s sad.  It hurts.  I want to give up everything, and yet I fail when I try.  And, at the same time, there are others who don’t even try.  It’s painful to be stuck in the midst of rejection when you’re teaching. To be the outsider who looks and realizes someone is saying, “No…” but then I stop and I ask – how is Jesus reacting to rejection?

Book: The Unlikely Disciple

The Unlikely Disicple is written by Kevin Roose.  What’s it about?

Roose is a student at Brown University, who, when he was 19 left Brown University to do a journalistic report to live at Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA.  

Surprisingly, I enjoyed the book. It was well written and slightly reminds me of the college experience that I had. I mean, a highly intensive Spiritual atmosphere.  It was a great experience with tough classes.

Nonetheless, the book doesn’t come without some discussion. I found a blog post of an actual Liberty student here who calls some of the stuff into question…read it for yourself.  I could see his objections.

One thing for me was that the book made me realize how non-Christians view the things of Christians…essentially as foolishness in a lot of ways. 

Overall, I think it was a good book. It was neat to see how he viewed the way that Christians acted (which I think was presented pretty factually in most senses). It will help you to understand exactly how non-Christian people view you in most situations. Understanding their point of view goes a LONG way. 

*Spoiler Alert*

Roose never becomes a Christian. Yet, there is something to be said about the authenticity that he felt at Liberty. Most of what I have seen is that he went back to Liberty and is the same Roose. This doesn’t surprise me, as one must remember that if someone doesn’t actually accept Christ into his or her life, then he or she cannot be expected to live in such a way. My biggest irritation is that some of the supposed comments he has made since returning to Brown have been done in a sarcastic and degrading tone towards evangelical Christians.

Nonetheless, I do recommend the book.  It was good.  It will open your mind.  It will challenge you.

Do it.

Why Are You So Committed?

It’s an idea I have been throwing around lately…

Let me preface this by saying something. Obviously, church attendance and being involved in great deeds in the community, or other things like these do not impress God when they’re done empty. When people attend church, give to the poor, read their Bibles, or pray, and it’s all done in vain – it’s worthless.  We see this repeated throughout the Bible with the Children of Israel in the Old Testament, as well as the Pharisees and New Testament church. Empty actions almost seem worse than no actions…

Nonetheless, everyone has to admit that there are some people that you know that just rock your socks off when it comes to Christianity. When you look at them, their church attendance, their devotion time (which ironically, they never talk about, you just KNOW that it’s there), their giving, their love, their aid to people, etc. show that everything that they do is wrapped up in their relationship with Christ.

Yet, there are others, like mentioned above who either just go through the motions and it seems empty, or there are even those who only go through selected motions and refuse to ever fully be committed to anything that makes them uncomfortable…

I want to know, for those people who attend church when the doors are open, recognize that daily devotions aren’t a checklist, but a meal, pray to a God that is more than an invisible person in the room, give to something that is greater than themselves…ya know, those “radicals”, I want to know why? What made the difference?

I mean, let’s get honest – in today’s Christian society, at least in America, we see a bunch of half-hearted commitment. If you disagree, then go try to plan an event in your church…yes, people will attend.  You know who will attend?  The people that you know will attend!  Usually, predictions are spot on in the church.

Is this to say that people who aren’t committed to church attendance aren’t good Christians? No – but I do think church attendance is important…  The church is the tool of God to spread the message of Christ….seems pretty important to me!

So what moved you from simply a spectator of Christianity – simply where you were involved, doing the right stuff, but in all honesty, it wasn’t whole-hearted following – to playing in the game?  Ya know, those Christians who are always going to be at church? The ones who you know are faithful givers.  The ones who teach, sing, etc.  Or, maybe they’re very quiet, and they just come to church and sit there – but there’s something to be said about them being there, because you can smell fishy people out compared to those who are sincere.

I just want to know – Why Are You So Committed?  Why? What made the difference?  I know there’s the personal decision to say, “Well, this is real! This is something big!  This is God!” But was it someone?  Was it a book?  Did a mid-life crisis happen? 

Just some thoughts…

Book: Why Evolution Is True

I finished Why Evolution Is True by Jerry Coyne last night.  I had been looking to read a book on evolution lately in order to better understand the mindset of those who argue against creation.  Surprisingly, the Coyne book wasn’t bad.  It didn’t take on the same arrogant tone that Dawkins, Hitchens, and other anti-theists take on in their writings.  It was an informative, yet slightly misguided book.

I did learn a lot though.  And that was very beneficial.  Coyne never attacked Christianity, but asked generic questions regarding creationism.  This is where he went off the tracks, assuming his knowledge of creationism.  

Nonetheless, the book was pretty good.  Let’s review:

• The issue of “species” is a pretty big deal.  Coyne claims that 99% of species that have ever walked this earth are extinct (no sources to back the information).  This comes interesting to me as by species, it is meant within a class of animal.  Instead of “species” meaning a new animal, it means a different type of finch, fish, monkey, etc.  This has always seemed to be a fun issue of interpretation.  Anyways, on this issue of Coyne’s assertion he states, ““This, by the way, poses an enormous problem for theories of intelligent design (ID). It doesn’t seem so intelligent to design millions of species that are destined to go extinct, and then replace them with other, similar species, most of which will also vanish. ID supporters have never addressed this difficulty.”  Animals die.  People die.  Death is the result of sin.  Just because the answer to the question isn’t what you want, doesn’t mean it hasn’t been addressed.
• Coyne repeatedly appeals to the idea of “Bad Design” but as I just mentioned, Christians do have an explanation for the messed up things of the world – unfortunately, people who operate from the mindset that there is no God refuses to accept that.
• Adaptation happens. I’ll agree with that.  It’s been observed.  My problem with evolution is the fact that adaptation has been observed – ie. Darwin’s finches – and the argument continues that many little changes within a species add up over time, thus, one form can transform into another.  I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
• One such example that Coyne provides for adaptation is as follows: There are species of orchids that resemble wasps, bees, and other insects.  Sure, I can see that.  And this is showing my ignorance on the issue of course, but the argument is that over time, these orchids have developed leaves or whatnot that look like a bee.  I mean, look at the picture – it looks like a bee.  I just don’t understand what caused the orchid to transform a leaf to look like a bee. Orchids are non-thinking organisms, thus there is no perception of what a bee looks like.  So, does nature just somehow take over and give the orchid the ability to grow a leaf that looks JUST like a bee?  Random mutations within the DNA sequence allow a leaf to begin to grow and change to the point that it looks like a bee, whenever the orchid cannot observe what bee looks like?  Maybe it’s way over my head, but if someone would like to explain how something this complex can happen within an orchid, giving it the ability to grow a leaf that looks like a bee whenever it cannot observe what a bee looks like, then I’d love to have the explanation.  As for now, I just think this is a poor argument.  Kinda like the Christian side whenever someone argues and just says, “Goddidit, don’t ask anymore questions….” I feel like many people say, “Evolution did it, shut up!”  
• Again, my ignorance might be shown greatly here, but another problem I have is of human fossilization. No, I will not go on to say that some of the “transition fossils” presented are not human…whoops.  Anyways, Darwin, Coyne, and others use the argument that humans began evolving in Africa.  Thus, it is obvious that most fossils would be found in Africa of the earliest descendants.  Sure – that’s fine.  I mean, according to the Bible, that area is where a lot of fossils should be found, too, as fossilization occurs whenever organisms find themselves quickly covered by water and sediments…I seem to remember this flood story…nonetheless – a quick look at human fossil records shows that some of the earliest “human fossils” were not discovered in Africa, but instead scattered around Asia, Europe, AND Africa.  I don’t care where they find them.  I just thought it interesting that Coyne really hit on the fact that man evolved in Africa, thus fossils should be found only there, and then whenever man because a thinking creature capable of movement, he moved across the world…yet some of the oldest dated fossils by evolutionists are found in Germany, China, Pakistan, and Italy. Oh well.

Anyways, I enjoyed the book.  I obviously don’t know everything that evolutionists believe, nor will I ever (as I have heard different contradicting ideas from different evolutionists…)  I just wanted to take a step toward understanding the worldview from which they work.

There are many I have talked to who are simply angry.  They don’t want to believe in a God.  They don’t want to deal with that, so it’s a sense of rebellion.  I try to avoid these types of people.

But others are simply unable to come to the conclusion that a God exists.  They see evolution as fact because it makes sense.  They see Christianity (and any religion) as moot because it seems preposterous and impossible.  They reject it because it is not logical – not because they’re angry babies.  I like these people, because they’re nice.

I read this book to understand those people.  I read this book to be able to at least talk to them a little.

One last tidbit, just for fun.  Within the book, Coyne says “probably,” “maybe,” “possibly,” etc. numerous times when speaking of how things evolved, why they evolved, and other issues.  Sure, I don’t expect evolutionists to have all the answers.  I mean, that’s something you hear a lot from them.  ”No, we haven’t found transitional fossils, but we will someday and that will answer all the questions…”  What you hear is faith.  I just wanted to point that one out.  So, don’t bash faith.  It happens to everyone.  

Now, back to reading things I want to read for fun….not that I didn’t enjoy the book.  It had some interesting tidbits…just interpreted the evidence in a much different way.

Raising Support

I posted this on Run 4 Haiti.  I’m open to ideas from the 2.6 readers I have.

I’ve begun to brainstorm the ways I can go about actually trying to raise money this year. VBS costs went up dramatically this year.  Normally it cost $5000 for the week to feed all of the people and other expenses for VBS (this is all the cost to actually execute VBS – I remind you that those of us who take a trip down there for the week pay for our own food, transportation, plus some more to pay our translators and other people…).  This year at VBS, the cost pushed $7000.  Who knows for next year.  I made a small dent last year in that cost.  I mean, I didn’t push or publicize the way that I possibly could have.  I could have done more.

I don’t like asking for money.  I really don’t.  It might come from the fact that I’m as cheap as they come.  As Lindsey and I are trying to get out of debt, I don’t want to buy ANYTHING.  I’m even willing to give up groceries.  But, I recognize that when someone does stupid things, such as run marathons and enjoy it, people are willing to thrown money at it.  I’m just in the middle of trying to figure out how to go from making a dent, to contributing huge numbers.  Not for the sake of “Oh, look how much I raised…” but for the sake of “Oh, look how much we can give!”  

I’d thought about seeing the possibility of having a 5k in my town in order to raise money.  That’s one thought.  I mean, who knows?  The other is of course to go about it the same as I did last year, but this year to actually email and snail mail packets of information to churches.  I have tons of ideas, I just don’t know how to go about executing all of them.  

Anyone have Donald Trump’s number?

So, if anyone has a brilliant idea of how non-profit orgs that are tiny and small and have no big connections can go about raising money – you should let me know.

Crazy Love

I finished Crazy Love by Francis Chan on Sunday evening. I must say, it might be one of the best books that I have ever read.  It is a challenging book for people in ministry, but especially just for Christians.

God loved us so much to send His son to die. That’s crazy enough. But this is the same God who created everything we see. And out of all of this – he paid attention to…US! That’s crazy.

The challenges throughout the book are phenomenal. From lukewarm Christians to taking advantage of the moments that we have to make a difference for the name of Christ – it’s a challenging book. 

If you haven’t read it, you need to BUY it right now. I don’t say that lightly either. I used to hate reading, but this book has made a huge impact on me. Buy it. Now. Go to Amazon. Go to your bookstore. Go somewhere, and buy this book. You won’t regret it.

This book is also inspiring a new series on Wednesday night talks with the youth group from me. I’m telling you, it’s that stinkin’ good. 

In other news – I finished book number 5 last night since September 19. That feels pretty awesome.  I also started book number 6.

Let’s review:

1. One Thing You Can’t Do In Heaven by Mark Cahill – good book on sharing your faith
2. Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey – proven book on how to manage your finances 
3. What’s So Great About Christianity by Dinesh D’Souza – deep book on Christianity vs. atheism
4. Crazy Love by Francis Chan – the stuff
5. Serious Times by James Emery White – a look at our culture and how Christians should live within it

Number 6 that I began last night is a book that I actually began back in May and then got lazy when it came to reading. No Perfect People Allowed by John Burke. It was recommended to me by my mentor in youth ministry who is an avid reader. The first 50 pages are solid and challenging.

So, that’s what’s going on in my neck of the woods.  What are you reading?